


Five Times Jim Fucked Bones with Something that Wasn’t His Cock and One Time It Was

by blue_jack



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Object Insertion, Rimming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-10-10
Updated: 2011-10-14
Packaged: 2017-10-24 11:51:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/263184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_jack/pseuds/blue_jack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“And you think <i>you’re</i> the person to show me how good anal sex can be,” Leonard said sarcastically, annoyed that his body had reacted so strongly when he was trying to convince Jim he wasn’t interested in that type of thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I don't think so

**Author's Note:**

> So this originally started as a “prompt me” post fill back, ohhhh, a little over a year ago, but then my muse disappeared so I never finished it. But then the lovely caitri bid on me for help_japan and requested I get back to it, so this is me, trying to write oodles and oodles of porn again. The muse is still being a petty bitch, so I’m going to post this in separate parts and hopefully get the energy to finish it soon.
> 
> Prompt from cards_slash for “Bones isn't entirely sold on the idea of getting fucked and Kirk, therefore, has to warm him up to the idea through various inventive means.” It’s the best prompt ever, isn’t it? :D
> 
> One last point, **this fic references a past bad sex experience** (mention of blood) although not noncon but maybe triggery. I am not trying to handle the experience lightly, but I'm not making this a really serious recovery story either, so please DO NOT READ if any of this upsets you. This is mostly an excuse to write porn, so please take that into consideration before reading.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?”

Jim blinked. “Giving you . . . a blow job?” The tone of his voice implied he didn’t know who to be more worried about: himself for apparently doing a poor job of it, or Leonard for not realizing what was happening.

“I’m not talking about that part! I’m talking about the other part!”

“You mean this?” Jim wiggled his finger, barely grazing skin, and made Leonard's hips lurch off the bed. He shoved Jim on the side of his head for that, which coincidentally put a little more room between his ass and Jim’s finger.

“Yes! That!”

“I’m just trying to make it better for you.”

“I don’t need . . . _that_!”

He was tempted to kick Jim off the bed completely when he saw the smile that started to spread slowly across Jim’s face. “Bones. _Bones_. Do not tell me that you—”

“I just don’t like it!” Leonard crossed his arms on his chest, realizing how ridiculous that made him look considering he was naked with Jim between his legs, but unable to stop.

“Well, how do you know that you—”

“I’ve tried it before, _that’s_ how.” He sighed and rubbed his face with one hand. “You know, maybe this was a mistake—”

“Hey, hey! Don’t say that!” Jim grabbed him by the hip, pinning him in place, and lifted himself up, settling on top of Leonard with one hand still holding him down and the other hand next to his head. “This could never be a mistake,” he said huskily and rolled his hips, his mouth hovering over Leonard's.

Leonard twitched, looking into solemn blue eyes. His erection, which had started to fade, decided that even with the threat of penetration looming, it was pretty damn interested.

“Jim . . .”

“Don’t you want me, Bones?” And that was unfair, that whisper as Jim’s eyebrows crinkled, that hint of vulnerability, Jim’s breath ghosting over his lips.

“You know I do,” he growled, pulling his arms free and using them to press Jim’s body even closer to his own. He almost smacked him when his expression cleared, turning all too cheerful all too quickly, and he knew he’d just been played. But with the worry of other things looming, he let it pass. Sometimes, it was all about picking his battles, especially when he was with a man who was more than willing to argue about how he was right concerning anything and everything.

“Then we’ll work it out.” As if it was that easy. As if two people wanting something to be true meant that it would be.

“Jim, we never talked about this. We should have— _I_ should have—but—”

“Hey, don’t worry about it, Bones! I like it all, so if this kind of stuff bothers you, then there are plenty of other things we can do.” Jim smiled, and seemingly satisfied that he wasn’t going to run screaming from the room, he relaxed, leaning down to lick his lips as he made another lazy roll of his hips.

“Really?” he asked, a more than healthy note of skepticism in his voice.

“Yeah, except . . . I mean, can I try?” And there it was. Leonard rolled his eyes.

“Jim, look, I’m serious about—”

“Wait, wait, I don’t mean can we try anal sex! Well, you can try it on me if you want.” He leered outrageously, and Leonard didn’t understand how they could be arguing, smiling and still rubbing against each other, but that was life with Jim Kirk apparently. “Just hear me out.”

He did something that ensured Leonard couldn’t do anything for a second other than clutch him closer and gasp, and he took that as permission to continue, the smug bastard.

“So I’m guessing you tried anal sex sometime when you were really young, before marrying Jocelyn, probably with someone who didn’t have much if any experience in that kind of thing, and you were kind of stupid and didn’t do all the steps you should’ve. Am I close?”

Leonard’s eyes narrowed.

“But Bones, your prostate can be your best friend! After me. Since I’ll be the one making your prostate sing.” He winked, full of brash confidence, and Leonard rolled his eyes and considered dumping Jim on the ground.

He froze a second later, however, as Jim shifted slightly to make room and slid one hand between Leonard's legs, except then Jim pressed firmly against his perineum as he ground down with his hips, and all that Leonard could do at that point was make a surprised, strangled grunt.

“See?” Jim’s voice was triumphant. “ _Trust_ me, Bones. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to, but I _would_ like a chance to prove that you _would_ like it if you gave it the right chance.”

“And you think _you’re_ the person to show me how good anal sex can be,” Leonard said sarcastically, annoyed that his body had reacted so strongly when he was trying to convince Jim he wasn’t interested in that type of thing.

“Look, my dick never has to come near your ass if you don’t want it to, Bones. That’s not what this is about. But it feels good to have someone play up there, and yes, I _do_ think I’m the person to show you that, because if anyone is going to be sticking stuff up your almost-virginal ass, then that person should be me!”

They stared at each other, Bones taken aback and Jim absurdly vehement.

“You realize what an idiot you are, don’t you?”

“That is totally a yes!”

“You are such a—”

“One finger!” Jim held up his forefinger.

“ _Jim_!”

“Come on, if it hurts or is even just uncomfortable or whatever, then I’ll stop, I promise. Just one finger.”

It was ridiculous that Jim’s finger looked so sinister looking all the sudden. Ridiculous. However. Leonard opened his mouth to refuse, but Jim was looking at him with his puppy dog expression, and he huffed—Jim knew he hated that—but then—

“Alright. But if I tell you to stop, that means you to stop all the way, stop asking, stop trying, stop _bothering_ me about this.”

Jim opened his mouth to argue but shut it in the face of his glare. “Okay. Fine. You got a deal. You tell me to stop, Bones, and I’ll stop everything.”

“Everything.”

“Yeah, everything. Scout’s honor.”

“You were never a Boy Scout.”

“True, but you wouldn’t have believe me if I had sworn on _my_ honor.” Jim winked before leaning in for a kiss. Leonard returned it, willing himself to relax. It _was_ just one finger, and Jim wouldn’t even be able to get it all the way in before he told him to stop. There was no reason to be nervous. But he was anyway.

Jim was right. He’d been too young, and his partner, Robert, had been just as young and inexperienced, the two of them fumbling the dark, driven by hormones and lack of common sense. Looking back, Leonard couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought to do some research on the matter, but he’d been carried away by something new and exciting, and the whole affair had been surrounded by an air of unreality at the time as they’d snuck around. They’d rushed into hand jobs and oral sex, and then one night, Robert had wanted to try it, and he'd thought, why not, and they hadn’t brought lube or used anything even as poor as saliva to ease the way. Robert had gotten off of him as soon as he yelled, horrified by the blood, although not as horrified as he'd been, and after all was said and done, they hadn’t seen each other again after that. He’d met Jocelyn a little while later and had never had another experience with a man.

Until Jim. Fuck. This was a bad idea—

“Hey.” Leonard blinked and looked down his body at Jim who was smiling crookedly at him. “Just trust me, okay?”

“I do trust you,” he said honestly and made a conscious effort to relax, was rewarded when Jim’s expression softened.

“Good.” And then Jim licked his cock from base to tip, keeping their eyes connected.

“Fuck, Jim.” His legs twitched, and he kept his eyes glued to Jim’s as his tongue began to lap at the crown of his penis, wet and pink and obscene. “Fuck.”

Jim’s hands caressed his thighs, his stomach, his sides, ran over and under his legs until one hand began to massage his testicles while the other hand resumed its aimless wandering. And the whole time, Jim kept licking him, along the shaft, up and down the vein, around and around the head until he thought he was about to go crazy from the teasing.

“Damn it, Jim—”

“Just be patient.” Jim grazed his teeth gently over the flesh in front of him, making Leonard flinch and gasp, not sure if he’d liked that or not. “I’m getting there.” Jim finally looked away, making him feel almost disoriented by the sudden absence of piercing blue eyes, and put his lips right over the tip of his erection, licking his lips slowly so each swipe of his tongue grazed Leonard as well, and he groaned, head falling back and hips arching up, so ready to slip into that talented mouth.

“Play with your nipples.”

“ _What_?” His head popped back up, and he stared down incredulously at Jim, not quite certain he’d heard what he thought he’d heard.

“ _Play_ with your _nipples_.” Jim was smiling; he could tell by the laugh lines next to his eyes, even though he couldn’t see the smile itself.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, I am _so_ serious, Bones.” He swirled his tongue heavily over the crown, Leonard’s hips stuttering.

“Stop trying to get your way when you have a hand around my dick, Jim!”

“Bones.” He finally looked up, and the amusement was there in his eyes, but his expression was grave. “I am about to put your dick in my mouth, about to suck and lick and swallow, about to push it down my throat until you just about swear you’ve never felt anything so tight in your life, and when you come, I’m going to swallow each and every last drop of your come and probably beg you for more.”

His breath came out in a rattle.

“I am not trying to manipulate you or trying to get you to do something you don’t want to do—at least, not with the nipples anyway—but I would like it, would be fucking incredibly turned on, if you would play with your nipples while I was doing it. So turned on, as a matter of fact, that I might very well have to hump your damn bed until I come all over your pretty white sheets. So please. Please. Will you play with your nipples so I can watch as I suck you off?”

“I don’t like having my nipples touched,” he said, voice gruff, already knowing he was going to give in but wanting to at least say he’d gone down fighting.

“That’s just because no one’s ever paid enough attention to them.” Jim reached up and used the tip of one finger to trace his left nipple. “The more you touch them, the more sensitive they get.” He watched, almost mesmerized, as Jim circled his nipple again and again. The contact was so light that he could barely even feel it, just the faintest hint of tingling, and he blinked as it gradually became erect, a shiver running down his spine. “If it really bothers you touching them yourself, I could do it instead—”

“I hate you, you know that, right?” He couldn’t believe he was going along with it, but if his options were Jim playing with his nipples, probably way too eagerly—he winced—or him doing it, there really wasn’t a contest. He put his hands on his chest, feeling self-conscious and stupid.

“You’re the best, Bones!”

“Will you just get on with it?” he demanded, and he knew his cheeks were getting red, not that there was a damn thing he could do about it.

“Woah, Bones. You’re so bossy in bed.” He smiled mischievously. “I like it.”

He was going to whack him—Leonard jerked as Jim sucked his cock into his mouth and used one hand to position his cock so he could watch, used the other to slip between his thighs.

“Jim,” he said worriedly, not even meaning to, tried to keep from tensing, and couldn’t even accomplish that. Jim’s eyes narrowed dangerously a second before he let go of Leonard’s cock with his hand and moved it to join the first. “I don’t think—”

His voice broke when Jim slid his hands under Leonard’s buttocks, forcing his hips up with just the strength of his arms, and simultaneously plunged his mouth down until his cock was deep within his throat.

“Holy mother of—” he gasped, his body thrusting upward at the sudden almost unbearable tightness, trying to somehow get even deeper. The small, rational part of his brain winced at his actions, attempted to warn him that it couldn’t possibly feel good for Jim. But the rest of him was yelling, ‘go, go, _go_!’ and he couldn’t stop, not when Jim was swallowing all around him, when he kept lifting and lowering Leonard’s hips until he was fucking his mouth, crying out hoarsely with each thrust, shocked by the intensity of each scrape and glide.

But then Jim let his hips drop to the mattress, Leonard’s cock popping out of his mouth and slapping against his stomach wetly.

“Jim,” he gasped, pelvis arching off the bed in search of more, “damn it, Jim, _fuck_ , don’t stop, don’t—”

“I distinctly remember,” Jim coughed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, his voice raspy and low, “you promising me some nipple action, Bones."

It took Leonard a second to understand what Jim was referring to, the sound of Jim's rough voice making his stomach tighten in desire and something like pride, but when he did finally make sense of it, he could feel his cheeks burn, his fingers twitching in the sheets where he had dug them for support. He opened his mouth to argue, because it was always easier to argue, even after he'd given in, but Jim leaned his head back down, licked and sucked on Leonard's testicles while his hand pumped his cock slowly, one blue eye—hazy with lust but still filled with determination—barely peeking over his fist. And he sighed, knew there was no getting around it, so he spread his legs wider to make sure Jim could have all the room he needed to get back to what he’d been doing before, and he rolled his nipples between his fingers just as lewdly as a centerfold model for one of the latest skin mags.

It was the right decision if Jim's reaction was anything to go by, his hand clenching down around his cock so hard that he flinched—although not from pain, not even close—the moan Jim let loose vibrating up Leonard’s body in one incredibly distracting wave of pleasure.

And he kept distracting him, fulfilled every silent promise his lips made just by being in existence. It was almost impossible to think because no one should be that good with his tongue, and how the hell did he maintain that level of suction for that long without his jaw cramping up, and _sweet mercy_ , where the fuck had he learned _that_?

It was fast and filthy and Leonard couldn’t get his bearings, couldn’t collect himself long enough to stop the sounds he was making that just got louder and louder, the tension spiraling higher until he felt like he was going to shake loose from his very bones. He kept trying to keep track of Jim’s fingers, wanted to prepare himself for when he finally just did it, but they were everywhere, on his thighs, between his legs, skimming over his stomach, and no matter how much he tried to focus on them, he kept losing time, kept startling himself when he realized they’d moved somewhere else without him noticing. It didn't help that Jim was so fucking _enthusiastic_ , like he couldn’t get enough, tongue and fingers constantly moving, the bed bumping against the wall each time he thrust down against the mattress, and it was all he could do to keep his fingers on his damn nipples when what he really wanted was to grab onto Jim's head and hold on for dear life.

Apparently, however, that wasn't good enough for one James T. Kirk, because he reached up with one hand, covering Leonard's, and _pinched_ —

It wasn't right that that should set him off, it wasn't right, but it did anyway, a jolt of cold fire streaking from his chest to his groin and back again, his body feeling flush with pleasure, the dam breaking, and he cursed and arched off the bed, his voice almost nonexistent, drowned by the rush of blood in his ears, ears ringing as he tried to make sense of a world where he felt oddly numb and simultaneously like his body was buzzing, his muscles twitching weakly after being tensed so long, even with Jim’s hands holding him down.

"So what did you think?" Jim asked who the hell knew how long later, his face insufferably triumphant, which Leonard didn't even know why—

Oh hell no.

"You didn't."

Jim just smiled, wide and bright and too damn obnoxious for Leonard’s peace of mind.

"You did," he said flatly, and he couldn't even remember it happening, although now that he'd brought it up, he noticed a distinct odd sensation in his ass, although praise all the angels in heaven, Jim’s fingers were on his thighs and no longer in dangerous territory.

“I did.” His smile became even wider, although Leonard didn’t know how that was possible. “And you _liked_ it,” he said, drawing out the word insufferably, the brat.

Even as he ranted about how sneak attacks did not belong in the bedroom, he thought about that last statement. Liked it? He remembered the sheer intensity of the orgasm. Maybe. Maybe he had. He could guess when Jim had done it, when he was half out of his mind because Jim excelled at the things he set his mind to, and he always had to get his way. And of course, the bastard had been right. It hadn’t hurt, still didn’t, even if it didn’t feel normal either, he thought, clenching his buttocks automatically and wishing he hadn’t a second later. Not that that he was looking for a repeat experience or to have Jim stick anything else up there. But . . .

Maybe he’d liked it.

He could honestly say, however, he liked it even better when he put his foot on Jim’s shoulder and shoved him off the bed.


	2. You want to put what, where?

“So . . . about last week . . .” Jim sidled up to him with as innocent an expression as the kid could get on his face. Which meant not very.

“Oh for—can’t you see I’m working here?” he asked, thumping Jim on his stomach with his PADD.

“Yeah,” Jim said, sparing a quick glance at the inventory before worming his way between Leonard and the supplies. “Boring. Hey, Bones, hey, hey,” acting for all the world like an overeager puppy. “Do you remember when we had that talk about that thing you didn’t want to do and I was all, ‘yeah, you’ll like it,’ and you said, ‘no, I won’t,’ then I worked my magic, and you—”

“Is this your idea of subtle?” he hissed, clapping his hand over Jim’s mouth, eyes darting around the room in case anyone was around. “What is wrong with you? How they ever gave you a ship, I’ll never know!”

“Aw, c’mon, Bones,” Jim mumbled, although sadly, Leonard could still understand what he was saying. “You’ve been avoiding me all week.”

“I haven’t been—” He glanced at the empty room one more time before dragging Jim into the corner and whispering, “It’s called work, jackass! I have responsibilities! In case you hadn’t noticed, a fifth of your crew is out of commission right now after that last away mission, and it’s my job to—”

He jerked his hand away reflexively when Jim licked it and scowled, gearing up to deliver a blistering diatribe on empty-headed fools who were too pretty for their own good when Jim said, “I want to try it again.”

“Are you even listening to the words coming out of my mouth?” he asked, throwing his hands up into the air. “This is hardly the time to—”

Jim shrugged, crowding closer, and somehow, it was Leonard who was being cornered against the boxes. “You told me this morning that you’d isolated the virus and that there shouldn’t be any new cases, so it’s just a matter of waiting out the symptoms now. Not only that, but we’re four days out from Cloine—four days of flying through Federation territory I might add—and they basically just have us doing shuttle duty since we’re low on crew. So unless you know something I don’t about another Romulan vessel trying to destroy the entire galaxy, I’d say this is as good a time as any.”

"It will never be a good time to have this conversation," he muttered, and maybe he had been avoiding Jim, but it hadn’t exactly been on purpose. He hadn’t even realized he’d been doing it until Jim had pointed it out to him. And it wasn’t like he didn’t want to try it again. He didn’t, but that wasn’t why he’d unconsciously been keeping his distance. It wasn’t even the fact that Jim had been right, although he didn't plan on admitting it since it was never a good idea to feed his enormous ego. 

The issue that bothered him so much, enough to make him bury himself in his work and ignore the little voice that tried to pipe up every time he’d seen Jim in passing or heard him on the comm, was that he’d been wrong, that he’d spent years being afraid of something that he shouldn’t have been afraid of, and that even knowing that fact, he still didn’t want to do it again. He didn’t like what that said about him. Which apparently had made him all the more determined to ignore it in the first place. Fuck, what was wrong with him?

“C’mon, Bones. I’ll make it worth your while, I promise,” Jim said, so fucking earnest and hopeful, like he thought for one second that Leonard didn’t know he would, which he did, he just didn’t want to know it know it.

“Jim, I—” 

“Just come to my quarters tonight,” Jim pleaded, interrupting him before he could make his excuses. “I haven’t seen you in days, and I . . . we don’t have to even do anything if you don’t want to, just come.”

He rolled his eyes. “Give me a break. ‘We can stop anytime you want to.’ ‘I’ll just stick the tip in.’ Uh huh. And don’t think I didn’t catch the sexual innuendo at the end either, brat.”

Jim grinned at being found out, and why the hell did that just make Leonard want to smile? 

“Okay, okay, you caught me. How about this then? You come over tonight, and I’ll let you use my shower.”

Both eyebrows went up. One of the perks of being captain was having an actual damn shower with running water instead of just the sonics that everyone else in the crew was stuck with. Jim used it maybe once a month, once every two months, after a particularly bad day or exhausting mission. In the few weeks that they’d been doing . . . whatever it was they were doing . . . he’d never once offered it to him, and Leonard had never even hinted he wanted to. Even though he did really, really want to. 

“This does not mean I’m agreeing to let you—”

“I won’t stick a thing up there unless you ask,” Jim said agreeably, squawking when Leonard whacked him with his PADD.

\-----

He sighed as the hot water pounded down on him, rinsing the soap away. 

“Should I be jealous?” Jim asked from where he was leaning against the counter, because of course he wouldn’t give him an ounce of privacy, not even to take a damn shower. Maybe especially then. “I thought you were here to see me, but now I’m wondering if the only reason you came was for my shower.”

“Well then let me put your mind at rest. I’m here for the shower.”

Jim staggered, his hand on his chest. “Like a knife to the heart, Bones.”

“You’re right. I’m cruel and heartless, and you should probably leave me alone right now to give me time to think about the error of my ways.”

“Nah, it’s okay,” he said straightening. “I know it’s just your way of telling me that you love me. It’s touching in its own adorably grumpy way—”

“What you are is touched in the head.”

“Yeah, probably,” he said, and Leonard rolled his eyes as Jim opened the stall door and walked in, still wearing his undershirt and pants.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?”

“Who knows?” he asked, his hands resting on Leonard’s hips, thumbs brushing over the wet skin. “Do you know? Do I know? Really, can anyone truly know his purpose in life and how his actions resonate—”

“You are an idiot,” he informed Jim, but he pulled him forward, eyes closing as their lips met.

“Yeah, probably,” Jim whispered once again, smiling and letting his hands start to wander.

It was just slow kisses and caresses then, and Leonard sighed regretfully as he finally pulled back. While he would’ve enjoyed staying in the shower longer, he already felt guilty for standing there for as long as he had. Water was precious, even if it was going be recycled.

“What were you thinking, getting in the shower with your clothes on?” he grumbled, plucking at the wet fabric. “C’mon, let’s take these off.”

“Where are you going?” Jim wrapped his arms around him, pulling him away from the stall door, and Leonard rolled his eyes. 

“We’re wasting water—”

“Bones, you’re wet and naked in my arms. I really would be the idiot you keep calling me if I let you out of here right now.”

“Jim,” he said, starting to frown.

“Five minutes, Bones. Five minutes, I swear. Then we’ll get out, we’ll conserve all the water you want. I won’t even take another shower until the next time we dock. Just give me five minutes,” he said, making him shiver as he brushed his lips down his neck. 

“You’re really not used to people saying ‘no’ to you, are you?” he asked dryly.

“People tell me I have a nice smile.” Jim pulled back enough to grin at him, drops of water clinging to his eyelashes, and Leonard just bet they did. He raised his hand, cupping his face and tracing the edge of that smile with his thumb, even as it started to fade.

"The things I want to do you, Bones,” Jim whispered as he sunk to his knees, the force of his fingers leaving red trails down Leonard's thighs so that his breath hissed through his teeth, his cock twitching. 

“Yeah?” he said, his voice embarrassingly hoarse.

“Oh, Bones,” Jim said, dark and low, “you have no idea.”

“Fuck,” he gasped, grabbing onto Jim’s shoulders as he took him into his mouth, Jim's eyes daring him to look away. Not that he wanted to. Not by a long shot. It didn't matter how ridiculous Jim should've looked, soaked through with his clothes clumped together in the oddest places, beads of water peppering his face. He was gorgeous. Too much so. Enough to break Leonard if he let him.

He could feel the muscles in his legs trembling, so he clutched harder onto Jim as his heart rate increased. The water was almost too hot now, or maybe it was his blood rushing to the surface, or even just the burn of Jim's eyes. All he knew was that he felt dizzy with the heat and steam, with Jim's mouth moving up and down, unfairly taking him apart without even trying it seemed. Five minutes? Who the hell needed that much time?

Except Jim was pulling away, was ignoring the way Leonard's body curved toward him and was standing in front of him with his flushed cheeks and full lips, an invitation to sin if he'd ever seen one.

"Can I touch you?" Jim whispered, shuffling close and pressing open-mouthed kisses against his neck as his fingers cupped his buttocks. "Can I, Bones?"

He swallowed, his head clearing at Jim's request although he wasn't surprised. He'd known Jim would ask when he'd agreed to come over, even if he’d hoped he wouldn’t, and he’d been debating what answer to give him all day long. He was tempted to say no. More than tempted. For all his tenacity, Leonard knew Jim would let it go if he drew a line in the sand, and it’d be such a relief to push it all behind them.

Except . . . except the last time hadn’t been so bad, hadn’t been horrible or painful or humiliating, and this was Jim. His Jim. And he wanted it, and Leonard . . . well, he wanted to be able to give Jim what he wanted, even though he didn't know if he could. 

"Yeah." He cleared his throat. "Go ahead, Jim."

He tried to lose himself in the kiss that followed, tried but failed, and it just got worse when Jim asked, "Will you turn around?"

He didn’t answer, just did it, wiping water from his face and letting out a quick breath as he attempted to relax. 

“Hey, hey,” Jim said, hugging him from behind, although he kept their bottom halves from touching, which Leonard couldn't help but appreciate, even as he felt annoyed with himself because of it. “I’m just going to touch you. I told you before,” he said gently, crooned really, and wasn’t that just perfect that he felt he needed to talk Leonard down, like he was standing on the edge of a cliff, ready to fall unless Jim stopped him. “I won’t stick anything up there unless you ask me to—”

He felt better after elbowing Jim and hearing him laughingly curse, the tension breaking enough that he could put his hands against the wall without too much difficulty. He knew he was going to need something to brace against to keep from moving away. He also made sure to stand with his legs far enough apart that he wouldn’t have to hear Jim ask him to spread them wider. That would just make it ten times worse, and it was bad enough already. 

He tried to focus on the little pricks of water against his side to keep from stiffening up again. Not that it worked all that well. It didn’t help matters that Jim was taking his sweet time, so that Leonard could feel the nervousness getting worse with each second that ticked by. Jim was making a production of it, had arranged things so there was nothing distracting Leonard, as if the last time had been to prove to Jim that Leonard could enjoy it, and this time was to prove it to Leonard himself. He just didn’t know that it would actually happen, especially with the way his body was reacting to his anxiety. Intellectually, he could understand the appeal, and he wanted it to be easy for Jim's sake, but fuck, fuck, fuck, he really didn’t want to—

“What are you doing?” he gasped, choked almost, twisting his head back to see, and his knees nearly buckled when Jim licked him again, his face pressed between his buttocks, hands reaching up to open him further. 

Leonard jerked at the sight, body twisting away as he said, "What is—do you have any idea—"

Jim pushed his hips against the tile—cold and wet, his cock rubbing against the smooth surface—to keep him in place, and he yelped in surprise, one hand grabbing the top of the stall to keep his balance.

"Jim, you can't—"

"Shh, Bones. I've got you."

He was grateful for the hands that held him up, his world precarious and tilting, because one second he’d been gearing himself for the worst, and the next—

Jim put his mouth on him once more, licking him over and over again, firm, pointed swipes and soft, sweeping caresses. 

Leonard didn’t mean to make that sound, shocked and greedy and breathless, but he did. Jim’s tongue, his damn tongue—

“Wait,” he panted, almost swaying as Jim wriggled in a certain way, and fuck, how could that feel so good? 

But Jim didn’t listen, of course he didn’t, each pass of his tongue pressing that much harder, and Leonard cursed as the motion made his cock slide against the wall, still cold, but it was almost a relief from the water pounding down on them and the heat of Jim’s mouth.

He could hear what Jim was doing, the noises wet and unbearably obscene behind him, and it made the blood rush to his cheeks, made a whine build low in his throat that he quickly strangled.

“Wait,” he said again, and he didn’t know if he actually wanted Jim to stop, shame and lust creating a confusing tangle within him, or if he just wanted to be able to tell himself later that he had planned on stopping him.

His life would have been so much easier if he could deny how much he wanted Jim. But he did want him. Heaven help him. 

He groaned as Jim sucked lightly, little pulses of pleasure expanding outward from that one spot, Jim’s thumbs digging into the flesh of his buttocks. Leonard’s hand flexed against the wall, and he had to bite his lip in an effort to keep the next sound trapped as Jim sucked even harder, shivers running up and down his body. 

Jim was keeping his promise, was being careful to go around and over but never more than that, and Leonard thought he might hate him a little bit for it. Like Jim didn’t know that all the teasing made him hyperaware of what else he could be doing. Like each brush of his tongue didn’t make Leonard feel empty, like something was missing, something that belonged inside of him.

“All you have to do is ask, Bones,” Jim said then, as if he were reading his mind, the bastard, his lips moving against the curve of one buttock.

If Leonard had even an ounce of self-control around Jim, he would’ve left then and there. It would’ve served him right, too, always demanding more when it felt like Leonard had already given him just about everything.

But he didn’t do it, couldn’t even convince himself that he really wanted to. What he wanted was to not have to ask, to have done some damn research so he’d never had that first painful experience, to not have to admit he might have been wrong. 

He ground his forehead against the wall as Jim bent his head down once more, shuddering at that touch and at each subsequent one. 

That was what he wanted. What he needed, however, was something else. 

“Damn you,” he whispered, shaky and rough, when he couldn’t hide from the desire any more, when each press of Jim’s tongue was more torture than pleasure. “Please,” he said, grateful that Jim couldn’t see his face, the word so quiet that it was almost drowned out by the water hitting the ground.

Almost.

“Anything, Bones,” Jim promised, his voice thick with lust, and at least he wasn’t the only one affected, he thought grimly, taking what small comfort he could. 

But that thought vanished, along with everything else it seemed when Jim finally pushed his tongue into him, slick and soft and insistent. Leonard tried to muffle his cry against the tile as he was stretched open, but it just made it louder, the sound echoing in the enclosed space over the fall of the water. He staggered, his knees turning liquid at the sensation, his fingers almost losing their hold, and Jim had to shove him harder against the wall to keep him upright.

As if to make up for forcing him to ask, Jim set about stealing his ability to speak, fucking him with his tongue and reaching up between his legs to grip his cock, his forearm rubbing against his testicles with each stroke.

It was a matter of seconds from there.

Leonard leaned against the wall after it was over, after Jim added fingers that could push further inside him, after Jim used the hand covered in Leonard’s come to bring himself off, and he tried to get his breath back, eyes closed and unable to look at Jim as he held him, the water washing everything down.


End file.
